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I hadn’t sweated a year out of football to blow my chances on the first bar pussy available. ‘Seven-Up straight?’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘Feel okay?’ ‘Never felt better,’ I told her. ‘What do you want?’ ‘Well, now! I haven’t even thought about that. But September’s sure nice here, isn’t it?’ ‘That’s a reasonable statement.’ ‘You live here?’ ‘Not yet,’ I said. ‘I’m from all over.’ ‘All over what?’ ‘Wherever I can hang my hat.’ She smiled. ‘What do you do?’ ‘Stockbroker,’ I told her. I didn’t want to talk football to anyone until I saw Clemens. Her face lit up. ‘Jeez, you must be rich!’ She laughed softly, but I couldn’t tell whether she was serious or kidding me. ‘Maybe you haven’t heard about the market lately,’ I said. She looked up. The waitress was there. I paid her and she went away and the girl said, ‘Which one?’ Now it was my turn to stare stupidly at her. Which market? What the hell. There was only one market. Now who was pulling whose leg? ‘Stock market,’ I said. ‘Oh,’ she. Growing up in the Humper household had exposed the impressionable young man to better masturbatory fodder than any porn studio could produce, with his J-cupped wet dream of a mother freely wandering around the house topless or naked, giving her son ample views of her prodigious bosom. The sight of her jiggling chest charms, pink nipples hypnotically bouncing around as she did housework, would drive Henry's raging teenage hormones into a frenzy of lust. He'd quickly have to sprint up to his room to relieve himself, fist flying along his pecker as he mentally pounded the shit out of one of his mother's orifices.Hilda, for her part, was very accommodating to her horny son's teenage needs and went out of her way to provide him with as much spank bank material as possible. She drilled a hole in the wall that separated his bedroom from her shower so that Henry could jerk his meat while she bathed and soaped up her titanic titties, and one year for his birthday made a custom nudie calendar.
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